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Wolverine (Cinematic Universe)
Wolverine, is a powerful mutant who has a long history of amnesia meaning he has forgotten most of his life. His real name is James Howlett before he went under the alias of Logan before he lost his memory and since then has become known as Wolverine. Powers and abilities Wolverine has the ability to regenerate from any injury meaning that he cannot die. He is able to recover from death and eject objects that piece his body such as bullets. He also has a prolonged aging process meaning that he has lived much longer than a normal human. He also has animal like senses and has enhanced strength. As well as this, his skeletal system has been reinforced with adamantium meaning that his skeleton is indestructible and his bone claws which were snapped off, have been replaced with adamantium claws that he uses as his primary weapon. Biography X-Men He was a famous small-town cage-fighter. And a full-time boss. He's so0o0o0o cool. The Incident In The Incident, Wolverine has a horrific fight with the Candyman. In his factory, Wolverine accidentally slips into Candyman's candy converting machine. Nearly escaping death, Wolverine makes it back to his hideout. Wolverine's adamantium skeleton decomposes into a Crisco-based, Alfredo-sauce shedding milk dud network. Sabretooth, recently diagnosed with diabetes and having a knack for finding candy with his super smell, hounds down Wolverine. In a battle for the ages, the 600 pound Sabretooth rolls off his wheelchair and smashes Wolverine's leg. Gravy spills out of Wolverine's tibia, and Sabretooth immediately crawls on all fours to suckle on the spilled gravy. As he is doing so, Wolverine thinks of a brilliant idea: Sabretooth hasn't been taking his diabetes medications and can overhaul his blood sugar. Wolverine, the ever unselfish hero we've all come to known, breaks off pieces of his body and feeds Sabretooth. Sabretooth's bloodsugar spikes until he goes into shock and chokes on his own vomit. Realizing what has happened, Wolverine realizes he's the best there is at what he does, but he does isn't very nice. He decides to donate candy in a happier manner. In a change of events, Wolverine wanders to an African village located in Kenya. He feeds countless starving children candy (afterall, he does regenerate). Thanks to Wolverine, America was no longer the most obese country. The Beast Returns About the author: My name is Gerald Lawrence Appleby. I enjoying taking long, half nude walks on the beach with my nephews. But don't be alarmed. I'm a registered sex offender, so people know what they're getting into when they meet me. I spend my nights by candlelight reading various gay clown porn novels. Basically, I'm the shit. Last Stand More commonly known as his 'One Night Stand', Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) did not realize the adverse effects of alcohol after mutations have taken place, and was found naked on a street corner. After being admitted to a local hospital, it was determined that Wolverine consumed massive amounts of beer, which caused some controversy when the local sewage pipes were seen to be gushing the same beer from drainage pipes all over the city. (A later police report determined this overflow to be caused by resident Shane Walsh, age 18) When Wolverine returned home, a voicemail left for him reminded him of the night before, including all of his escapades with each member of the local gay vikings bar. Needless to say, the real ending of Hugh Jackman's career as Wolverine ended abruptly with him passing due to AIDS. About the Author: My Name is Harold Hector Rodriguez. I enjoy many of the finer things in life, including landscaping, manscaping and updating wiki pages. I recently graduated from Pavel-Zurdzki University, where I rode an authentic Polish horse from World War II across the stage to receive my Karkov Buttermilk Vodka-coated diploma, all while my pet Biz watched from the audience. X-Men Origins: Wolverine